Are you going through a divorce? Do you feel lost, hurt, numb, angry, and panicked over your current relationship status?

Divorce has a very specific process that everyone goes through before they reach acceptance. Many people have thoughts like “I failed” or “I should have done that differently.”  All types of thoughts flood the person during this process. If you are currently going through this process this article is for you.

Through counseling others, Nathanial Smith discovered that many people’s core beliefs about relationships change because of divorce. They might start to believe that they are a failure, unlovable, unwanted, or that they will always be alone. It is important to become aware of the kinds of core beliefs that can grow out of a divorce experience because these types of unhealthy core beliefs can heavily influence future relationships.

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Mediation provides divorcing couples with a kinder method for resolution, without ever having to file a lawsuit. As the pro-family approach to divorce, mediation is affordable, less time consuming, less emotionally draining, and can spare your family unnecessary heartache and scars.

Divorce Without War® mediators guide couples through the divorce process, working with both parties to bring about collaboration and accord in a confidential and comfortable setting. Click here to find out if this approach is right for you.

For more information regarding the benefits of mediation:

Judy Rosenberg and Eliot Winograd have been business partners for 35 years as co-owners of Rosie’s Bakery, a 30-employee, $2.5 million Boston institution with four locations. Their marriage was less successful: It lasted two years, from 1979 to 1981, and “was not a good personal dynamic,” Rosenberg says. Despite their failure to make their marriage last, they attribute their ability to remain in business to mutual trust and admiration for each other’s business skills, among other reasons.

Roughly 65 percent of U.S. businesses are family owned, with about 30 percent co-owned by spouses, estimates Glenn Muske, an entrepreneurship professor at North Dakota State University who has spent 14 years researching couples in business. Between 40 percent and 50 percent of all first marriages will end in divorce, a rate that has declined slightly over the past decade as marriage became less common, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Figuring out how to sustain a family business after a divorce is important – click here to learn how mediation can help.

After a divorce, couple-owned businesses tend to fold, get sold, or have one partner buy the other out, though “we do see [ex-spouses] remain in business,” says Muske. “They may find they don’t get along together at home, but they are great business partners and they’ve got a solid, going business that they don’t want to tear apart. If the business is performing in terms of dollars coming in, sometimes neither one can buy the other out, and they don’t want to split up the property.”

Click here to continue reading this article from Bloomburg Businessweek.

Klein, Karen. (2013). Divorced, but Still in Business Together. Businessweek.com. Retrieved on September 24, 2013, from http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-02-26/divorced-but-still-in-business-together.

Life is not over after divorce. Dr. Phil shows divorced couples how to finally let go, how to deal with the changes and make the most out of your new life.

Divorce is a major life change that can leave a person reeling. Suddenly being on your own to deal with issues such as money, children, career changes and downsizing the family home can seem overwhelming. Dr. Phil and Libby Gill, author of the book Traveling Hopefully: How to Lose Your Family Baggage and Jumpstart Your Life offer advice on how to begin to live life after divorce.

If you’re having trouble letting go:

There is life after this marriage

As hard as it is to believe right now, one day this marriage will just be something you did once. You’ll go on and you’ll have what you create.

Get out of denial

Ask yourself: Do you really want this marriage, or are you hanging onto it out of fear? If being alone is a scarier thought than staying in a broken marriage, you’re letting fear make your decisions. Are you mourning the loss of what your marriage was, or what you thought marriage would be?

Don’t burn daylight

Grieving doesn’t have a time frame on it, but life does. Whether you realize it or not, life is marching on. There comes a time when you have to accept the fact and say, “I’ve got to get on with my life, I’ve got to get on with raising my children, I’ve got to get on with putting things together where I can be a happy, meaningful, productive member of society.” Find a way to put one foot in front of the other and move forward.

Life After Divorce. Drphil.com. Retrieved on July 1, 2014, http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/213.

A study conducted by Dr. Robert Emery concluded that divorce through method of mediation kept most families out of court and was less disruptive to the lives of those involved. The study also showed that family members were more likely to keep in contact even 12 years after the mediated divorce.

The following is a summary of Dr. Emery’s 12-year study on the effects of divorce mediation. This divorce mediation study is also available in Microsoft PowerPoint presentation format here.

The Study

• Used a high conflict group – families who had filed for contested custody hearing
• Used random assignment (the magic of science) — a flip of a coin determined whether families went to mediation or adversary settlement
• Sample was young and low income
• Mediation was short-term (5-hr average) and problem-focused but sensitive to emotions, especially grief
• Was a longitudinal study — families were followed for 12 years

Mediation Kept Most Families Out of Court

• If the coin came up tails and they stayed in the adversary system, 75% of families appeared before a judge
• But if the coin came up heads, less than 20% appeared before a judge
• Even when mediation failed, parents tended to settle out of court with the help of their lawyers

So you’ve made it through your divorce. Or you’ve split as a couple, but the result of a relationship, however brief or long it was, that once existed has resulted in new love: your children. Whether you’re excited about it or not, you’ll be in a new and different relationship with your child’s other parent for the next fifty or so years.

And, if your kids aren’t already in college, you’ll need to be communicating effectively with the other parent on a regular basis. Are there ways that are better than others to discuss what your kids need without losing your mind? Yes! Yes! Yes!

Co-Parenting can be tough, tough business, especially if residual negative feelings exist on either side. You can handle every aspect like a pro, with a little practice and some proper procedures:

Cordor, Honoree. The Co-Parenting Cheat Sheet. Huffingtonpost.com. Retrieved on July 1, 2014, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/honoree-corder/the-coparenting-cheat-she_b_5432369.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce.