There are millions of adults who experienced the trauma of their parents’ divorce 20, 30 or 40 plus years ago. Some have found closure, but many more have not. Regrettably, it is a time in a child’s life that is never forgotten; it sticks with them. For anyone who’s experienced it, you know it isn’t only about divorce. It’s about the years of tension in the home leading up to the divorce and those commonly miserable years after the divorce.

Fifteen years ago, Miami-Dade became the first county in the United States that would not grant a divorce in a family until the children completed the Sandcastles Program for children of divorce. Since then, more than 300,000 children of divorce have completed the Sandcastles Program internationally and it continues to help children of divorce share their deepest emotions and gain a feeling of normalcy.

We’d like to think it all stops there — in the past. Sadly, our childhoods remain a part of our adult fabric for better or for worse, and with divorce in the past, there is a load of negativity that never goes away.

Click here to continue reading the original article from The Huffington Post.

According to a study conducted by the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green University, one in four divorces in 2009 occurred to persons ages 50 and older. This amount is double what it was in 1990 and, due to an aging population in the United States, is only likely to increase over time.

Divorce at an older age is typically more difficult than for younger people when it comes to recovering one’s financial health. Spouses going through a divorce over the age of 50 are

likely to have significant decisions to make on how to split their assets and restructure their retirement plan, as well as when it comes to issues involving the payment of alimony and child support. The stakes are often greater because the assets tend to be larger for gray divorcees, and the consequences of a wrong decision are far graver simply because the clock is ticking and there is not as much time to make up for any bad decisions.

So what should someone who is over 50 and going through a divorce be aware of both during the divorce proceedings and after the divorce is final to help them transition smoothly into the next stage of their lives?

Click here to continue reading the original article from The Huffington Post.

After our divorce, we didn’t want to lose the friendship. We still helped each other through the hard times.

Last April I was eating my salad in front of the TV when the beautifully coifed anchor on “Entertainment Tonight” announced, “After the commercial break we go to a story you won’t believe: a man killed by a swan in Des Plaines, Illinois.”

I put down my salad and ran to call my ex-husband.

“Turn on Channel 3,” I told him. “They’re going to do a story about a swan that killed someone.”

Fred is the only person I know who would understand the urgency or relevance of my phone alert; he and I were once attacked by a murderous swan. We hung up and went to our respective televisions. We were finding our way into a stage in our relationship that didn’t have an easy label. Were we “broken”? I have always hated that label. As a therapist, I didn’t refer to divorced families as broken.

When we divorced after seven years of marriage (preceded by two decades of friendship), our friends prepared to take sides, hear complaints and grievances, and close ranks. After the official decree, we looked at each other outside the courtroom and asked, “Now what?”

Click here to continue reading the original article from the New York Times.

During divorce proceedings, many couples will need to transfer vehicle titles as part of the final settlement of assets. It is important to know that when a court grants ownership of a vehicle from one person to another, sales tax is not due. 

In marriage dissolution, a transfer of title is not taxable if the transfer is part of the property settlement or divorce decree. A certificate setting forth the facts and signed under penalty of perjury must accompany the application for title transfer or application for transfer of license or registration. Not only does this waive any sales tax but this also saves the transferee the initial $225 registration fee.

To learn more about the transfer of ownership by operation of law as outlined in Florida Statute 319.28, click here.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, divorce is a common cause of stress for millions of Americans. While nothing can fully remove stress from the divorce process, there are a number of ways to reduce it significantly. One of the most basic ways is to pursue a divorce process that is not adversarial in nature. When most couples think of divorce, they think of a long, drawn-out legal battle between two sides. However, divorce doesn’t have to be like this. Divorce mediation can help to reduce the combativeness associated with a divorce and allow the couple to focus on what matters most during this difficult time.

To learn more about mediation and how it can help reduce stress during divorce, click here.

Mediation is a non-adversarial process in which you, with the assistance of an impartial mediator make decisions that affect your life. The agreement that you arrive at must be acceptable to both parties and the agreement then forms the basis for an uncontested divorce.

Though Divorce mediation is not marriage counseling the question of saving the marriage is often explored. Supervised communication between the spouses sometimes results in a desire to seek counseling to save the marriage. However, the primary objective of divorce mediation is to assist parties who have decided upon divorce get through the process in a less confrontational setting.

Mediation can take place during the divorce suit, before the trial of the case. When it occurs during the divorce process it is referred to as “court ordered” or “court connected” mediation. However, by that time, both parties will probably have paid attorney fees and started the case in the hostile environment of the adversarial process. Couples facing divorce are urged to consider getting the assistance of a family mediator before retaining opposing divorce attorneys.

The mediator is a neutral party who cannot order either of you to do anything. The agreement that is reached must be acceptable to both of you. He or she will help to defuse emotions, and guide both of you through the web of difficult issues. Through extensive training and experience mediators can often suggest creative solutions to problems that the parties may have considered insoluble. They deal with every issue involved in the dissolution of a marriage: Distribution of property and debts, child custody and support issues, spousal support, and assistance in virtually every subject necessary to lead to a complete agreement and uncontested divorce. Instead of airing these personal and often painful subjects in a public arena (the courtroom), you deal with them in the privacy and confidential setting of the mediator’s office. The costs are significantly less than battling it out with opposing divorce attorneys. Most importantly, the process helps the parties avoid destructive battles, which impact upon children of the marriage. It enables you to get on with your life.

Many divorce attorneys are now engaging in this field. They receive special training in skills necessary to help parties avoid contested divorces. Of course, courtroom battles remain the exclusive domain of the divorce lawyer, and if you cannot reach agreement with a mediator, the divorce lawyer is there to help you.

Click here to schedule a free consultation and to learn how we can help you mediate your divorce.