Mediation is a non-adversarial process in which you, with the assistance of an impartial mediator make decisions that affect your life. The agreement that you arrive at must be acceptable to both parties and the agreement then forms the basis for an uncontested divorce.
Though Divorce mediation is not marriage counseling the question of saving the marriage is often explored. Supervised communication between the spouses sometimes results in a desire to seek counseling to save the marriage. However, the primary objective of divorce mediation is to assist parties who have decided upon divorce get through the process in a less confrontational setting.
Mediation can take place during the divorce suit, before the trial of the case. When it occurs during the divorce process it is referred to as “court ordered” or “court connected” mediation. However, by that time, both parties will probably have paid attorney fees and started the case in the hostile environment of the adversarial process. Couples facing divorce are urged to consider getting the assistance of a family mediator before retaining opposing divorce attorneys.
The mediator is a neutral party who cannot order either of you to do anything. The agreement that is reached must be acceptable to both of you. He or she will help to defuse emotions, and guide both of you through the web of difficult issues. Through extensive training and experience mediators can often suggest creative solutions to problems that the parties may have considered insoluble. They deal with every issue involved in the dissolution of a marriage: Distribution of property and debts, child custody and support issues, spousal support, and assistance in virtually every subject necessary to lead to a complete agreement and uncontested divorce. Instead of airing these personal and often painful subjects in a public arena (the courtroom), you deal with them in the privacy and confidential setting of the mediators office. The costs are significantly less than battling it out with opposing divorce attorneys. Most importantly, the process helps the parties avoid destructive battles, which impact upon children of the marriage. It enables you to get on with your life.
Many divorce attorneys are now engaging in this field. They receive special training in skills necessary to help parties avoid contested divorces. Of course, courtroom battles remain the exclusive domain of the divorce lawyer, and if you cannot reach agreement with a mediator, the divorce lawyer is there to help you.
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